Doubts and Certainties
by Kaiser Washington
Summary: Both Ryonan and Shohoku know what it's like to lose important players from their team, when they meet each other again after the summer. And Ayako knows that Miyagi needs her support now more than ever. Still, somehow, she finds her thoughts wandering in the direction of a certain spiky-haired ace who is supposed to be an opponent. Some Sendoh x Ayako. One-shot. Re-uploaded.


A/N: This neurotic little story was originally published sometime in 2010. I probably didn't reupload it with the rest because I didn't like it as much. (I guess I secretly do like it, or I wouldn't be uploading it now.) But whatever. There's no point in keeping it hidden. If it means anything, I distinctly remember having written this in Comic Sans.

* * *

"Faster, people!"

Ayako blew her whistle, and the shrill, amplified sound rent the gym air like a bolt of lightning, and made the players groan, grimace, curse, and force their aching legs to move faster. She watched contentedly as Miyagi responded to the message with a fitting ebullience, and then turned to beam at her.

The whistle was blown again a couple of minutes later.

"Warm up's over."

But they wouldn't get any respite yet. Miyagi, who had striven to take a leaf out of Akagi's book when he became captain, was already getting ready for another hour of rigorous practice.

"This is no time to be slacking off." The title of captain gave him an air of authority and a sense of responsibility that he had never had before. "Do you guys want to beat Ryonan or not?"

Mitsui scoffed; Sakuragi laughed loudly. The former had still not got over the indignity of having to call a second-year student "Captain"; the latter complacently believed that Ryonan was one of those has-beens one hears about all the time. He took special care to look sardonically in Rukawa's direction when he said this.

"Ryonan lost to us so badly last time that there's no need to practice. Beating them will be a cinch."

"Idiot," said Rukawa, who did not like Ryonan, but had nonetheless developed a grudging respect for its ace when he had conceded he had much to learn from him.

"Don't get so overconfident Sakuragi." Miyagi's tone was grave – it was an added bonus. Now Ayako could actually treat him with the respect a captain deserved. "You didn't think Ryonan would just sit around after being defeated, did you? For all you know, they could be practicing even harder than we are. It would be fatal to underestimate them. Especially now that Sendoh's their captain."

Miyagi spent a couple of moments reflecting darkly on how fiendishly good Sendoh was – even when he played as point guard. Rukawa was Shohoku's only hope. And even then there was no guarantee that they would be able to beat Sendoh. That perpetual air of sanguinity he held about him made anyone who laid eyes on him lose all confidence in himself as soon as he stepped onto the same court as he.

"Miyagi's right," said Ayako, gently fanning herself with her paper fan. "It's Sendoh we need to look out for. It doesn't matter if we're much better now than we were back when we first faced Ryonan. Sendoh's unpredictable."

There was something about the way in which she said Sendoh's name that Miyagi couldn't place. But he let it pass. He would have to be crazy to believe that Ayako thought of Sendoh as anything more than an opponent.

"We need to practice." But Miyagi's voice had lost much of its earlier conviction.

"Tell me again, why do we have to host the game?" Sakuragi asked petulantly. He didn't like having to play host to the likes of Sendoh and Fukuda and the other stuck-up Ryonan losers.

"Because it's only fair," Ayako answered noncommittally. She was busy making last-minute preparations in the gym. "They hosted it last time, so this time it's our turn."

"Don't tell me this is supposed to be a 'friendly game'!" His voice dripped with disdain.

"Why not? They're our friends, aren't they?" She sounded less than convinced.

Sakuragi blinked.

"Since when have you started thinking like that?"

"I've always thought like that. You shouldn't let your differences on court get in the way of knowing each other as people."

"Aha! So you've been fraternizing with the enemy. You're a backstabber, Ayako!"

"I don't know what you're insinuating," said Ayako coolly. "And no, I haven't been fraternizing with anybody. But I, for one, am not going to be so immature as to pass up an opportunity to get to know our rivals better. It could be useful, you know. We could discover new things about them, like their taste in food, clothes, movies…"

"And how is that supposed to help?"

"Oh, it's useful knowing such things."

"For a date, maybe. Not for basketball." He threw his head back and laughed. "But you wouldn't be looking to date anyone from Ryonan, would you?"

It was a rhetorical question. It was just too absurd to believe that a refined and intelligent girl like Ayako would want to date a loser from Ryonan. He didn't notice Ayako turning pale or the sour look she cast in his direction.

"Anyway." She shifted her weight onto one leg and placed a hand on her hip, an act which gave her an appearance of indignance. Sakuragi stopped laughing at once. "Shouldn't you be doing some last minute practice yourself?" She gestured at the other members of the team, who were practicing as if every second counted.

"Oh? No, not really. The genius doesn't need any practice! What's so special about Ryonan, anyway? That dumb Spiky's all right. And then there's that clown Fukuda. But the rest of them are total losers! They could never hope to reach the level of the Genius, let alone beat him at basketball." His outstanding performance in the National Games had done much to inflate his already rather bloated ego.

Before Ayako could respond, Yasuda rushed into the gym, looking, as always, like someone who's been traumatized by physical harassment.

"Guys, they're here." He said it as if Ryonan's arrival meant the end of the world. He prayed desperately that the team had practiced enough. He was very nervous. He would be playing today.

A few moments later, Coach Anzai ambled into the gym, talking airily to Coach Taoka, who followed closely behind. The Ryonan team was next to enter. Uozumi's absence seemed to make it look a lot smaller and more inconsequential than before.

"Good evening, Coach Taoka," said Miyagi with a bow, greeting the Ryonan coach as any mature captain should. "Thank you for coming over." Ayako had taught him well.

Coach Taoka clasped his hand firmly.

"Congratulations on becoming the captain. You're a pretty skilled player." There was a supercilious edge in his tone, even though the compliment was sincere. It became apparent why when Sendoh stepped out from behind Coach Taoka and smiled at Miyagi.

"Hey there."

"Hey." Somehow, Miyagi was a lot less pleased to see Sendoh than he had expected to be.

An awkward silence descended upon them.

"So how's Sakuragi?" asked Sendoh lamely.

"He's been around." They both turned to look at Sakuragi, who was surprised but pleased at the attention.

"You're a bunch of losers," he shot at Sendoh. "We'll beat you."

Koshino gritted his teeth.

"I could foul him out, if you like," he whispered to Sendoh.

"No need." Sendoh didn't bother lowering his tone. "Sakuragi's a good player. It'll be fun playing him today."

"Have a seat, Coach Taoka." Ayako offered the Ryonan coach a chair. She became acutely aware of her propinquity to Ryonan's ace player, and wondered whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. "Do you want me to get you a cup of tea?"

"Sure, tea won't be bad. It was an unexpectedly tiring train journey. Fewer people made room for us than usual, since Uozumi wasn't with us. I guess we'll just have to get used to it."

Then the game started. Ryonan, under Sendoh's expert captainship, was a lot calmer than Shohoku, whose play was erratic and reckless.

"My ball!" Sakuragi yelled, snatching the ball away from Yasuda, and running off to make a layup shot. He scored, but only because Koshino had let his guard down.

"Don't be so reckless, Sakuragi," Miyagi called out to him. Being a point guard and a captain at the same time was a lot harder than people thought. "Make sure someone's open before you pass the ball to him."

"I wanted to make that shot myself," Sakuragi scowled.

Sendoh stole the ball from Miyagi at one point, but was stopped from scoring by Rukawa, who was playing with a fiery vengeance.

"Fukuda!" Sendoh threw the ball into the air, and Fukuda intercepted it in midair to score an alley-oop.

"Don't be demoralized." Mitsui clapped his hands in an attempt to encourage his teammates. "We can still beat them." His three-pointers were a powerful weapon, but he didn't get enough opportunities to use them.

"Don't worry," said Sakuragi. "The Genius is still here. We can't lose." He was the only one who was still confident that Shohoku could win. But even he started doubting this when shot after shot started being made over his head.

Sakuragi and Mitsui got into an argument at one point, and the referee had to call a time out and force the two apart.

Miyagi glanced at Sendoh, who smiled sympathetically at him.

"Darn it." Miyagi gritted his teeth. He couldn't believe how hard it was to keep his team under control and make sure everything was going well. The pressure of the game was starting to get to him. "Rukawa, here!"

Rukawa, all too eager to play Sendoh one-on-one, fouled Uekusa in his haste.

"Careful, Rukawa!" Ayako was plainly worried. Akagi would have known what to do, she told herself. She clenched her fists in her lap. But Akagi wsn't here anymore. She was in charge now. It was her job to make sure the team won – to help Miyagi take on a burdensome responsibility that was intended for wider and more powerful shoulders. She felt alone and helpless. All she could do was cheer Shohoku on.

And then she realized, much to her shock, that she spent more time looking at the Ryonan players than her own – specifically at Sendoh.

"Come on, Sendoh!" Koshino passed the ball to Sendoh. All of Ryonan's hopes rested on that one second-year player. Without Sendoh, they were just like any other team. No wonder they respected him so much.

Ayako watched with bated breath as Sendoh leapt into the air, and made a slam dunk over Hanamichi's head.

"Darn it!" cried Sakuragi, stomping his foot on the floor in frustration.

"It's not your fault," said Ayako mechanically. "You're still not used to playing center position."

At the end of the first half, Ryonan had a ten-point lead over Shohoku.

"Not bad." Ayako was relieved that, even after their dismal performance, the team had managed to limit the difference to ten points.

"Ayako," Sendoh called out to her.

Her heart skipped a beat.

"Could you come over here for a minute?"

Sendoh led her away from the Shohoku players, and smiled at her.

"Hey, um, I don't know if it's my place to say this, but it looks like your team's not playing its best game today."

"That's none of your business." Ayako wondered if she should have been less rude. It was, after all, the first time she was talking to Sendoh.

"Sorry." He was genuinely apologetic. "I was just saying that you guys can really play much better. I know, because I've played you before. We even lost to you once."

"What's your point?"

"Maybe you could tell your captain, Miyagi, that he doesn't need to try to be like Akagi. He just needs to be himself. Then he'll actually enjoy the game."

Ayako h'med to herself acquiescently, staring silently at Ryota, who was shouting at the rest of the players.

"And you need to be less tense yourself," Sendoh went on.

Ayako turned abruptly.

"What do you mean?"

"I could see you. You were sitting there, all tense, obviously upset. Maybe if you thought less about how Shohoku used to be before and more about how Shohoku is now, you would do better."

"I see," said Ayako softly. Then suddenly she said loudly, "What's this? Why is the Ryonan captain talking to me?"

Sendoh was taken aback.

"Sorry, but I don't fraternize with the enemy."

She marched back to her seat.

"Ryota," she said. "I want you to listen to me." And she knew he would listen to her, no matter what. "I want you to be yourself, got it?"

Miyagi was mildly surprised, but he smiled.

"I thought you wanted me to be like Akagi."

"Maybe I did then, but I was wrong. I want you to be yourself."

Miyagi smiled.

"I guess that's easier."

"It is. You'll see."

She spent another three and half minutes reminding the Shohoku team that they were one of the strongest teams in Kanagawa, with or without Akagi. "You should play like this is your last chance to enter the National Tournament."

When the second half started, Shohoku took Ryonan completely by surprise. With their newfound inspiration and energy, they wiped the floor with them. Sendoh, as a lone ace, could do little to stop the tidal wave that Shohoku had become.

"Whoa!" Koshino exclaimed when he was tricked into fouling Sakuragi.

"Nyahahaha! Take that, sucker!"

Miyagi was playing with a grin on his face.

"Let me tell you something," he said to Uekusa, passing the ball to Mitsui, who scored a three-point shot. "I'm the best point guard in Kanagawa. You could never hope to beat me."

When the game was nearing its end, Rukawa finally got to play one-on-one with Sendoh.

"You may be good," he said, scoring a shot. "But you'll still lose."

Sendoh cracked a strained smile.

At the end of game, Shohoku won by six points.

"Ho, ho, ho," said Coach Anzai. "You're a good captain, Miyagi."

Miyagi bowed low before Coach Anzai, before being swept off his feet by a powerful hug from Sakuragi.

"I told you we could do it!"

Haruko was so happy, there were tears streaming down her face.

Then Ayako noticed Sendoh, who was staring a little dejectedly at the Shohoku team celebrating their victory. She walked up to him.

"Thanks," she said awkwardly, "I guess."

"No need to thank me. You won because you were better – not because of anything I did."

"I wish I could tell you the game wasn't important."

"Don't. I know it was."

The game meant a lot to Shohoku. It was their first game after the Nationals and their first since Akagi and Kogure had retired from the team. This victory meant a lot to them – especially to Miyagi, and of course, to Ayako herself.

"So," began Ayako awkwardly. "Dated anyone lately?"

Sendoh laughed softly.

"No. And I don't think I will anytime soon. I still need to get used to the fact that we're not the team we used to be."

"But you told me that…"

"I was talking about you guys. Even without Akagi, you're a strong team. But look at us." He gestured at the Ryonan bench. The picture the players presented was like that of a plundered and destroyed city. "We're just like any other team."

"Is Sendoh losing confidence in himself?"

"No, not at all. It's just that some dreams are not meant to be fulfilled simply because they were meant to remain dreams."

"What do you mean?"

"We could never have made it to the National Games. We just didn't have it in us."

A moment's silence passed between them.

"So," said Ayako, more awkwardly than before. "This is the longest we've ever spoken to each other, isn't it?"

Sendoh laughed.

"Yeah, I guess it is. Oddly, I find that I can speak to you freely."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I don't know. What do you think?"

Ayako thought for a while.

"I think it's a bad thing."

"Why?"

"Because you see, Sendoh, I think I'm in love with you."

"Oh," said Sendoh vaguely.

"So it would best if we didn't talk." Then she went on, loud enough for the whole gym to hear, "Sorry, Akira Sendoh, but I don't fraternize with the enemy." She walked away with an odd burning sensation somewhere in her chest and a lump in her throat.

"H'm," said Sendoh softly to himself. Strangely, that hurt more than it should have.

Hours later, when Ayako locked the gym up and was heading off homeward, she wondered what it would have been like if she had joined Ryonan instead of Shohoku.

She stopped walking. Miyagi's face appeared before her eyes, followed by those of all the other members of the team. She recalled every triumph, every loss she had faced with them. They were more than just teammates – they were like family.

She continued walking.

"Damn you, Sendoh."


End file.
